In Proverbs 22:6 Solomon says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (ESV) For many years I have heard this verse directed toward various young adults who have fallen away after being raised in a home where church attendance was the norm. Solomon’s words here have provided much comfort for the families of the wayward and are beneficial when coupled with prayer and Godly action. At the same time, I am struck by how little the passage is quoted outside of this scope. The statement by Solomon is one of cause and effect, where spending too much time on the effect will be detrimental.
Solomon begins by stating what must be done – “train up a child”. I am reminded of the instruction which the Apostle Paul gave to the fathers of children in Ephesus, “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 – ESV) It is obvious that our Lord desires that an effort be put forth by the parent. It is an effort that will be costly in terms of time. An effort to really teach, or “train up”, a young person as God desires will undoubtedly require more time than is spent in the local assembly and bible classes. Parents must seek to teach their children as God instructed the Israelites in Deuteronomy 6:6-9, “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (ESV) As you can see, this will not be a time for rest and relaxation. This will be a period of time for diligence and extreme care for the souls of those young ones that we love so much.
Second, Solomon continues his statement, “Train up a child in the way he should go”. This is the direction that the parent is to train towards. Very few parents provide absolutely no training or instruction to their children. It is extremely common to see parents teaching their children those things which are important to them involving various worldly pursuits. Solomon, however, speaks to us of spiritual things. It stands to reason that anyone who must “train” another must have a certain mastery of the subject. If a parent is to provide this training, they must have a knowledge of and interest in spiritual things. It naturally follows that the parents themselves must spend time studying the scriptures. Once again, this will involve more time than that spent in the weekly Bible classes and worship services. Time spent in different efforts (even worthwhile endeavors) must be considered when we plan our time to study God’s word. Many claim that personal time for study is difficult to find. However, when a survey is taken of their daily activities, often plenty of time is spent in pursuit of activities which are far less important. Simply put, training children “in the way” they should go will require a knowledge of the Way, and therefore time spent in study of the Way.
The parent must then be diligent to put forth their knowledge in the teaching of their children in the right way. This will also require time- no shortcuts will suffice! Sometimes it is perceived by parents that they are indeed spending this time in teaching their children, yet when the child is addressed in bible class the preparation is not evident. When the child is asked about their home preparation for class, many times they will say that there had not been time to do so. I, as well as many other Bible class teachers, have witnessed this multiple times. This is where the parent needs to be completely honest with themselves and aware of the time they spend in home spiritual studies with their children. One way to do this is similar to what a nutritionist would encourage the person who desires to lose weight to do. A person may become frustrated, perceiving that they aren’t eating very much, yet the weight will not come off. The nutritionist would tell them that there are probably things that they are consuming that they aren’t counting. They would usually encourage them to engage in keeping a food journal where they would write down everything that they ate. The parent can do this with their home spiritual studies as well. Take one or several weeks and write down every time that you engage in a spiritual exercise with your children, being sure to record the time and the duration. You can review your journal at the end of a set time and ascertain if you are really allotting the amount of time to spiritual training that you perceive.
This may seem to many to be too much effort to put forth for such things, but it is an effort that will be well worth it when your children are older. You will be one who views this passage as one which is instructional for parents instead of one to be quoted in despair and anguish over the spiritual loss of an adult child. Remember, to end up with a child that does not depart from the way they should go they must be “trained up” by a loving parent. If you are a parent or plan to become one, please keep in mind the extreme importance of your role, remembering that you are responsible for the little one(s) which God loans to you. Be a good steward of their souls for God.
