The Active Pursuit of Training a Child

            In Proverbs 22:6 Solomon says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (ESV)  For many years I have heard this verse directed toward various young adults who have fallen away after being raised in a home where church attendance was the norm. Solomon’s words here have provided much comfort for the families of the wayward and are beneficial when coupled with prayer and Godly action.  At the same time, I am struck by how little the passage is quoted outside of this scope. The statement by Solomon is one of cause and effect, where spending too much time on the effect will be detrimental.

            Solomon begins by stating what must be done – “train up a child”.  I am reminded of the instruction which the Apostle Paul gave to the fathers of children in Ephesus, “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 – ESV)  It is obvious that our Lord desires that an effort be put forth by the parent. It is an effort that will be costly in terms of time.  An effort to really teach, or “train up”, a young person as God desires will undoubtedly require more time than is spent in the local assembly and bible classes. Parents must seek to teach their children as God instructed the Israelites in Deuteronomy 6:6-9, “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. ⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. ⁸ You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. ⁹ You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (ESV) As you can see, this will not be a time for rest and relaxation.  This will be a period of time for diligence and extreme care for the souls of those young ones that we love so much. 

            Second, Solomon continues his statement, “Train up a child in the way he should go”.  This is the direction that the parent is to train towards.  Very few parents provide absolutely no training or instruction to their children.  It is extremely common to see parents teaching their children those things which are important to them involving various worldly pursuits.  Solomon, however, speaks to us of spiritual things. It stands to reason that anyone who must “train” another must have a certain mastery of the subject.  If a parent is to provide this training, they must have a knowledge of and interest in spiritual things.  It naturally follows that the parents themselves must spend time studying the scriptures.  Once again, this will involve more time than that spent in the weekly Bible classes and worship services.  Time spent in different efforts (even worthwhile endeavors) must be considered when we plan our time to study God’s word.  Many claim that personal time for study is difficult to find. However, when a survey is taken of their daily activities, often plenty of time is spent in pursuit of activities which are far less important.  Simply put, training children “in the way” they should go will require a knowledge of the Way, and therefore time spent in study of the Way.

            The parent must then be diligent to put forth their knowledge in the teaching of their children in the right way.  This will also require time- no shortcuts will suffice!  Sometimes it is perceived by parents that they are indeed spending this time in teaching their children, yet when the child is addressed in bible class the preparation is not evident.  When the child is asked about their home preparation for class, many times they will say that there had not been time to do so.  I, as well as many other Bible class teachers, have witnessed this multiple times.  This is where the parent needs to be completely honest with themselves and aware of the time they spend in home spiritual studies with their children.  One way to do this is similar to what a nutritionist would encourage the person who desires to lose weight to do.  A person may become frustrated, perceiving that they aren’t eating very much, yet the weight will not come off.  The nutritionist would tell them that there are probably things that they are consuming that they aren’t counting.  They would usually encourage them to engage in keeping a food journal where they would write down everything that they ate.  The parent can do this with their home spiritual studies as well.  Take one or several weeks and write down every time that you engage in a spiritual exercise with your children, being sure to record the time and the duration.  You can review your journal at the end of a set time and ascertain if you are really allotting the amount of time to spiritual training that you perceive.

            This may seem to many to be too much effort to put forth for such things, but it is an effort that will be well worth it when your children are older.  You will be one who views this passage as one which is instructional for parents instead of one to be quoted in despair and anguish over the spiritual loss of an adult child.  Remember, to end up with a child that does not depart from the way they should go they must be “trained up” by a loving parent.  If you are a parent or plan to become one, please keep in mind the extreme importance of your role, remembering that you are responsible for the little one(s) which God loans to you.  Be a good steward of their souls for God.

Is Jesus Truly Your Lord?

            The Christian sits in a prime spot as one who understands the wonderful works of God on behalf of all mankind.  We understand the great sacrifice Jesus made in leaving the glory of the heavenly realm (Philipp. 2:5-11), leading a life filled with temptations and persecutions (Mark 8:31), and innocently suffering a horrific death on the cross (Heb. 2:10-15).  We understand that He suffered all these things for us because He loved us and desired to deliver us from the guilt of our sins, and make payment for them with his own blood.

            We also perceive from the writings of Jesus and the Apostles that we have access to God’s grace, through this sacrifice of Jesus, through our faith shown by obedience.  We know that sinful man puts on Christ and becomes a Christian by repenting of a sinful life, confessing Jesus as the Son of God, and being immersed in water for the remission of our sins.  In Romans 6:23 the writer describes it as “the gift of God”.  We learn from the New Testament that we MUST enter into a relationship with Jesus wherein He is described as our “LORD”.  But this begs the question of each and every Christian, “Is Jesus truly the Lord of your life?”

        Jesus said some very difficult things for us to stomach in relation to this.  When sending out the Apostles, He gave them several instructions and teachings to prepare them.  Among these teachings we find His words in Matthew 10:37-39, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (ESV)  From this scripture we can certainly see that Jesus intended to have nothing short of the full allegiance of His followers.  Indeed for any to give Him less would render them “not worthy” of Him.  If these relationships- father, mother, son, daughter- were to be counted as secondary to our relationship with Jesus, then what can we conclude about other areas of our life?  What about our jobs, our health, our hobbies, and even just time to rest?  Are we putting these above God? This is certainly a subject which should make us consider our ways.

        We must consider if we place Jesus as the Lord of such areas of our life as our time.  Do we give Him the proper place in our day to day activities?  Do we set aside a time each day to read and study His word? After all we tout it, as the Apostle Paul does, as “able to make you wise for salvation” and given that we may be equipped for every good work. (II Timothy 3:15-17)  Do we set aside proper time to prepare ourselves for the Lord’s Day worship services?  Are our lessons studied and completed the day or night prior?  Do we plan to get enough rest to properly approach the Lord’s throne in service to Him the next morning?  Are you habitually running late to the services of our Lord and Savior?  Do you miss some Sunday evening services due to time mismanagements such as taking a nap without setting an alarm to wake you?  Undoubtedly, our time is a major area where we need to give the Lord authority over us.

        We generally desire to also keep our money under our authority as well.  However, this is also inconsistent with making Jesus the Lord of our life.  We must see that the scriptures see our physical blessings, which would include our money, as being blessings from the hand of God.  Consider the words of Paul in I Timothy 6:17, “As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.”  We have all been blessed by God beyond most in this world.  None of us has a need for anything, yet do we keep our riches from Him?  This is not merely applicable to the amount placed in the collection on the Lord’s Day.  Do we inquire of the Lord as to what will be suitable for the child of God to spend our money on?  When planning activities or vacations do we make our decision based on the revelation of God?

        Perhaps the most important area of our life that we must surrender unequivocally is in our approach to the God-breathed, Holy Spirit inspired scriptures.  This seems as if it should be too obvious to the child of God to mention here.  However, we do not have to be acquainted with the Lord’s body for very long before encountering those who would seek to alter His Word.  We are constantly battling against the redefinition of sin.  His Word on modesty, marriage, and morality are constantly under attack by those who desire to make sin appear to be something which we cannot know, much less judge.  Principles in the Scriptures on topics such as modest dress are constantly attacked and many seek for more “freedom” in this area.  Yet, in this as well as other areas of our lives, God seeks our sanctification. (I Thess. 4:1-8)

        So the question remains for the child of God: Is Jesus truly the Lord of my life?  Are there areas of your life that you retain for your own?  If you selfishly cling to habits, ways of life, false views of scriptures, or any such thing that is foreign to the will of God, then repentance is required.  God will have nothing less than your full allegiance, which means treating Jesus in the same way which John the Baptist did- “He must increase, and I must decrease.”  If you desire the full blessings of God, his desire of sanctification for you, then heed the words of Paul spoken in Romans 12:1-2, “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect”.

                                                                                                                              -David Wheeler